I’m stepping in a pile of dukey here, but I’m not apologizing about it. I hate talking about controversial subjects, and if someone comments on this, I’ll probably just leave it alone, for or against. It’s not my point here, to hash out all the ins and outs of this complex topic. This topic came up again in my life last week, which is what has me writing this. Maybe it’s just catharsis.

Abortion is supposed to be all about empowering women, right? Sheesh, she needs to finish her education, she needs opportunity to get the best job she can, she needs her reputation  … Insert “they/their” for when the guy is in the picture.

Dish it out.

Let me dish you out the other side. The side you will probably NEVER. EVER. hear in the news. The statement I heard last week, which is prompting these mullings-over in my brain.

“My friend had an abortion when she was [insert young age] years old. She wanted to keep the baby but her [guardians] made her have an abortion.”

Please, someone give me a quarter for every time I’ve heard that routine. Sadly, I’d be a millionaire. She “decides” she wants the baby. She should have the power to make that decision, right?. She should have the power to make her life complicated and “limited” by a baby, right?. Every feminist and abortion clinic in this women’s-empowerment nation should be asking each woman what she really wants to do with this baby, right???

RIGHT?????

That’s the lie right there, isn’t it. WE imagine that  more education, reputation, whatever is worth snuffing out that growing threat to all that, the  doom that her life will be if this comes to fruition….

Abortion disempowers women by empowering others in her life, empowering those who decide that abortion is the “only logical” choice in the face of this disaster. Let’s just sweep this coming doom under the rug and out of our lives, just like that.

What santanic, cruel joke was it, that we had to take a hard situation (aka, a “crisis” of a pregnancy) and make a worse answer in response to it? Who are we kidding? Who are we deceiving? Ourselves? No one?

Let’s get a little more creative, please. The human race is brilliant in many ways. But when it comes to abortion, it’s satanic. We can do better.

Abortion disempowers women because it begs a “logical” seemingly close-ended  solution to a decision that should be made as whole persons– as emotional, logical, will-ful, creative, eternal beings.  Which we truly are.

I will say it again: What amazing inventions and social goodwill have we buried by not envisioning cultures that embrace every life, all the way along? By coming at this issue with a politicized, polarized, poverty mentality?

I repeat: Abortion: It’s also disempowering women by giving power to others in her life who want to control her choices.

Was it really about empowering women? It hasn’t worked that way, in many, many lives.

Is that even the right goal?

Моя квалификация, чтобы писать этот пост о грудном вскарливанием заключается в том, что я кормила и кормлю грудью уже больше двенадцать лет. Конечно, есть и другие мамы, у которых есть больше опыта по грудного вскармливания, поэтому они, вероятно, знают больше. Я также кормила грудью длительные периоды времени. Больше года, четыре года, больше три года, и теперь и три года с плюсом. (У нас четверо детей.)

В Ветхом Завете Бог часто показывал Себя через типы и символы. Для меня грудное вскармливание стало живым типом или символическим актом того, как Бог хочет, чтобы мы понимали Его и Его сердце к нам.

Чем дольше я живу, тем больше я вижу, как Бог общается с нами в повседневных вещах. Раньше я ожидала определенные, особые, редкие опыты с Богом (кроме того, что получала в чтении Библии или в молитве). Теперь я могу видеть, как Он открывает Себя нам в обычном и во всем, что вокруг нас.

Вот несколько способов, которыми я пришла, чтобы «увидеть» Бога в грудном вскармливании.

Подумайте о Божьем дизайне: Мама открывает руки, обнимает ребенке, открывает одно из ее самых закрытых, чувствительных мест, кладет младенца рядом с ее сердцем, удерживает его там и дает ему жизнь— физическое и эмоциональное питание.

Она дает и физическое и эмоциональное наполнение желудка и сердца этого ребенка.

Тепло излучает от нее. Удовлетворительные гормоны в ней, и в ее ребенке, течет внутри их в крови и в мозге.

Эта картинка Божего дизайна приносит слезы на глаза, понимая, как Бог духовно это все делает для нас. Он открывает руки, тянет нас к сердцу, согревает и дает нам жизнь от Самого Себя.

Я только что нарисовал потрясающую картину грудного вскармливания, чтобы обдумать. Но, честно говоря, грудное вскармливание показало мне свой эгоизм, и именно там он стал для меня духовной дисциплиной.

Бог питает нас великодушно. Щедро! Бесплатно. Он втягивает нас в Себя. Он отдаёт себя, свою любовь, заботу, время, внимание.

А я? Мне пришлось бороться и тренироваться, чтобы таким образом дать себя своим детям. Грудное вскармливание настолько личное, настолько “инвазивное”, настолько неудобное в определенных отношениях (позиции, время, которое требуется, отсутствие сна–когда мои дети становятся старше. Когда они моложе, я могу спать, пока они кормят грудью, но когда они старше ,я не могу.) …

Это дело так требовательно!

И не легче ли Богу? Он бесконечен. Он может обратить на меня внимание и в то же время «продолжать» со всей вселенной. Но для меня ГВ— это довольно эксклюзивная деятельность. (Хотя когда я думаю об этом, на самом деле я могу читать, пить, спать, иногда есть, быть на телефоне. НО ВСЕ РАВНО, может он просто “не удобно” потому, что я не хочу быть ограничано именно с этим делом.)

Вот я. Вот мое сердце.

Но вы знаете, Богу тоже не нужно уделять мне такое пристальное внимание. Ему не нужно было становиться неудобным, чтобы жить внутри меня своим Духом. Ему не надо было отдавать Себя до такого степеня, не так ли?

Но он это сделал, и он это делает до сих пор . Это его природа! Итак, могу ли я практиковать Его природу, пока она не станет моей природой? Могу ли я также выбрать, как выбрал Бог, держать своего ребенка рядом со мной и выдавать себя ему в личную степень?

…. Вот некоторые из тех вещей, над которыми я размышляла, так как более десяти лет занялась и подчинялась дисциплине грудного вскармливания. <3

I’m blessed

These last months and years, I am feeling that I’m blessed. I don’t just logically accept that it must be true– my emotions have united to the truth, and I FEEL that this is true. (Meaning, I don’t just accept it by faith, even though I feel the opposite.)

The first half of the day was Vitaliy getting our van towed to a repair station and me going to the dentist. But a church gal brought to the door a package of chocolates and a card from the church. They are so sweet that way ❤

After the dentist, the 2 kids and I went to a cafe, and we ended up buying new mugs–several of ours had been broken so we’re getting low.

At home again, the kids sang us Happy Anniversary to the tune of Happy Birthday.

And the gave us chocolates and some little cross stitch things–the girls are into cross stitch right now.

And a card

In the evenig, we went on a walk together.

I love looking back and looking forward. Can I just be anti-popular-slogan for a moment and say that living in the present feels like the pits sometimes, if I’m honest. Even though everyone says to live in the moment. I try to do that, but some moments are better as memories — ha ha.

So I love looking back at what great things happened in 2016– not in chronological order!

1. We finished 4th grade video school!
2. Vitaliy took a trip to the taiga in Russia!
3. I hosted two breastfeeding meetings for pregnant and breastfeeding gals.
4. We had MomHeart group meetings (gals in our church)
5. I studied and grew in my ability to express hospitality!
6. I read through the Bible chronologically.
7. I went through counseling about some unhealthy church past things that I couldn’t let go of. As a result, I confessed some sins, and I generally feel safer and happier in our church (I’m not the only one changing).
8. I started baking a lot more for church things– I was asking God how to express love to our church more in a way that involves my emotions, and baking it is! I love group baking.
9. Introvert Anne offered “intentional friendships” to moms in our church who want that relationship– we mostly do this by writing. A few personal meetings.
10. We started 5th grade! I’m doing tons of reading aloud, which I’ve always imagined doing!
11. I started working out at Curves 3 days/week.
12. I lost the remainder of the weight I want to lose, and I’m maintaining.
13. I moved forward in our fundraising (more to come in 2017 goals)
14. I made a lot of videos for moms in our church, sharing some things God’s taught me, encouraging them to love their children and look to God for love and wisdom.
15. Vitaliy and I wend skiing together and had a great time (I did something he loves 🙂 )
16. One of my goals was to support Vitaliy in all the ministry he’s doing, and I think I did a great job of that overall.
17. We as church moms starting fasting and praying for our children once a month.
18. I semi-discipled a girl through a Bible study book for kids.

So, thouse are some things I remember about 2016. It was a good year 🙂 Looking back, I would chose the work “self-discipline” for that year. After years of prayer, God seems to be bringing fruit in that quality of life in the Spirit. I’m looking forward to developing even more in that.

I’m not writing this to argue with anyone. I’m just sifting through my own thoughts on this, analyzing changes and adjusting to cultural changes. If you have more information or calm analysis, perhaps not opinion (esp. flaming), I would like to add it to the pot.

Because in America we don’t see soldiers in camouflage, pass tanks on the roads, hear war planes buzzing overhead or the staccato of gunfire …. we forget that America is at war. America is in a war. In the Middle East.  And though the average citizen rarely thinks about this, it actually is something we need to think through collectively. Because the tactics of war have changed in ways that now involve every-day citizens.

Throughout the ages, war tactics change and adapt. In the Bible times, it’s recorded that there was chariot warfare; that they slashed open pregnant women, tore down walls around entire cities, forced famines and droughts by besieging cities, cut off big toes and thumbs, took slaves, etc.

Closer to our time, war was with armies lined up on fields facing each other. (These days, that seems crazy.) Horses, swords, guns, cannons. Then guerrilla warfare involved small bands making attacks on the outskirts of the larger foe. And airplanes, bombs.It goes on and on.

Inventions change war tactics. Technology changes war tactics. War involves a lot of Public Relations, too, if you think of it, and the methods of PR change. (We were just looking at old Soviet PR posters, for example). The overall sensibilities of a culture influence war tactics, too.

So, we’re constantly changing when it comes to war.

In some ways, terror has always been a war tactic. Just the horrific sight of the enormous armies, their equipment, costumes, etc., is designed to make people afraid and capitulate to the demands of the enemy.

The reason I’m saying all this: America and especially France (and Britain? and others?) are in war. We are at war. (I don’t live in the States, so I don’t feel it in the same way, but in some ways, living closer to the warring borders, I become more aware of it.)

So, the general style of tactics used today by certain armies have been labeled “terror” by the western world. It’s interesting to stop and think about that word: Terror. Acts of war committed to incite intense fear in order to achieve the desires of the enemy.

Here are current war tactics we need to consider:

• There is no defined “war zone” for an act of terror. In fact, it seems like the more civilian, the better.
• It’s no longer a question of strength or numbers. One person with a little stuff can do a lot of damage.
• Death for the “soldier” is not problematical. The foe is not trying to limit its own casualties.
• Social media is used as a war device, to spread the terror even more, through live streaming. No hiding, no self-protection.

There’s more, I’m sure.

But my goal here.

My goal here is just to put the pieces together. So we can be more able to have conversations that unite, rather than that divide and anger. Or just not confuse war with irrelevant questions. Or let the news media lead us by the nose into whatever they want to be the hot political buzz of the day. Division is also a war tactic. And we need to be wise. None of us has all the information. Few of us are actually in a place to make and implement changes of which we so certainly speak. Power changes perspective. And humbleness is a powerful perspective.

It’s messy. There is no one right answer on how to deal with these new war tactics. It’s very messy. But it calls for a lot of working together and looking for both justice and mercy (in the immigration question, for example, which is also a long-time war tactic. How to balance safety of many with helping others? An eternal question.). It calls for clearing our minds and focusing on living out the love of God to the fullest extent we know how. It calls for the rising up of great men and women who can create and implement creative, compassionate answers for individuals and for large groups.

May God help us.

P.S. One idea I had as I thought about this: Maybe we should form prayer groups to pray for vulnerable men and women, that they not be recruited into the ranks of the army that wants to see them die a “hero’s” death. Pray for those vulnerable souls, that God would redirect them ….

some soldiers checking out at the grocery, as I write this post….