October 2016 archive

molitva menyayet moyu zhizen

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Около 4 лет назад, я почувствовала, что Бог начинает подталкивать меня молиться.

Я начала использовать молитвенную тетрадь Джины Гарланд. Но моя молитвенная жизнь была маленькой. И Бог хотел большего.

На протяжении несколько лет, Он просто вынашивал желание и готовность молиться. И в этот момент в моей жизни, Он начинает приносить все это в плодоношение.

Во-первых, Он научил меня больше о Себе, Он открыл глубину наших отношений, к моему пониманию Него, который не существовало раньше. И это помогает мне сейчас, чтобы иметь возможность расти в отношениях к Нему в молитве, чтобы увидеть, как молитву гораздо больше, чем просто проходить через списки просьбы. Что это действительно разговор со совершенно-желательном Бога, через Дух нашего Друга.

Во-вторых, Он положил ресурсы вокруг меня. Я немножко читали Бекки Тирабасси и Эндрю Мюррей …. около четырех лет назад. И тогда, я положила их в сторону, потому, что это было еще рано. Я тогда не поняла почему у меня не получилась, но сейчас вижу, что все нужные кусочки не были на месте еще. Но, ресурсы и учителя были готовые.

Третья часть, я вижу прямо сейчас– Он начал учить меня самодисциплину. Во-первых через диеты и физических упражнений, а затем в сборе поддержку и домашнего обучения детей, и теперь, в молитве.

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Я недавно начала использовать план Бекки Тирабасси, чтобы помолиться за один час в день в письменной форме, и с помощью ее ежедневника.

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Это практика поднимает мои отношения с Богом на другой уровень. Приходя к Богу с открытым сердцем, прося у Него, за что я могла бы славить Его сегодня,, в чем мне нужно признаться (грехи– и пока эта часть самым преобразующей), с просьбами о нуждах и жизненных вопросах, и научиться слушать Ему (и Его идеи для меня).

Я начинаю с чтения главы в книге Бекки и в книге Мюррея (Со Христом в школе молитвы). Затем я начинаю свой телефонный таймер в течение часа. …

Вау. Спасибо тебе, Господи.

prayer changing my life

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About 4 years ago, I felt God start nudging me to pray.

I got into using Gina Garland’s wonderful prayer notebook (check her out on youtube). But my prayer life was small. And God wanted more.

For years, He simply nurtured the desire, the readiness to pray. And at this point in my life, He’s starting to bring it all into fruition.

First of all, He taught me more about Himself, a depth to our relationship, to my understanding of Him that didn’t exist before. And this helps me now, to be able to grow in a relationship to Him in prayer– to see prayer as much more than just going through lists of requests. Even more than ACTS, for example. That it’s really a conversation with an utterly desirable God, through the Spirit of the Friend.

Second, He put resources around me. I tinkered with reading Becky Tirabassi and Andrew Murray …. about four years ago. But I set them aside, because it wasn’t time. I didn’t understand why, the all the pieces were not in place yet. But, the resources, the teachers were there.

The third piece I see right now, was teaching me self-discipline. First through dieting and exercise, then in fundraising and home schooling, and now, in prayer.

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What I’m doing right now is Becky Tirabassi’s plan to pray for an hour a day in writing, and using her journal.

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It’s taking my relationship with God to another level. Coming to God with an open heart, asking Him what I should praise Him about today, what do I need to confess (THAT has been the most transformative so far), asking faithfully and expectantly about needs and life issues, and learning to listen to Him, to His ideas for me.

I start by reading a chapter in Becky’s book and in Murray’s book, With Christ in the School of Prayer. Then I start my phone timer for an hour. …

Wow. Thank you, God.

Who decides the value of my life

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So, last week, I had a day or three of my depression cycle where I start thinking about 2 life dreams that I’m pretty emotionally invested in that … Aren’t Going To Happen (most likely). And then I start getting all poophead, wondering why I’m even alive, thinking accusatory thoughts towards Vitaliy (hello?), and being plagued by the question: What is the value of my life??

Going through this cycle is like peeling away the layers of an onion. It burns. It makes me cry. But I get closer and closer to it being gone. It’s gotten pretty small, actually. I’m surprised it even came up again. …. But it did.

And this time, just maybe?, I found the best answer. The answer that closes the issue and frees me to think new things.

What is the value of my life?

Stop asking that question.

Just stop asking it.

You are not capable of answering it.

I imagined some life where I was fulfilling these two dreams, and you know, I’d have the same question, the same struggles. WHAT I DO doesn’t answer that question.

God is the judge of it. He assigns value. And, walking in His Spirit, I do my stuff every day, and GOD GIVES VALUE TO IT. It’s valuable because I’m doing the will of God for my life.

….

I could go on.

I will spare you.

But, I’m nixing that question from my cycle– that question IS my cycle. It’s a dead-end question for me. For me, it is, I think, a question that arises from my pride, some desire to be *important* in the way I consider importance. God gives truer thoughts and better questions in its place.

Now I’m thinking about how to make a Third Thing— a life that is not Vitaliy’s, not mine, but a Third Thing that only the two of us together could make together. I will think about this quite a lot.

I’m also thinking about how to keep rechannel my emotional investments. How to see my future without feeling the loss of these two things and seeing something bright and good, something Other.

…. It’s interesting…..

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A day of the Curves diet

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OK, not a whole day, but most of it.

A day consists of 3 meals and 2 snacks, eating approximately every 3 hours.

Here is my food journal. In the back, I choose a formula for each meal/snack, and the portions are by weight.

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Example:

For breakfast, I chose the formula 2 Starches (50grams of oatmeal), 1.5 Fruit (strawberries) and 1 Protein (2 eggs).

Weighed out my oatmeal and strawberries together, then poured hot water over it

Weighed out my oatmeal and strawberries together, then poured hot water over it

 

I recently tried cooking scrambled eggs on my crepe-making pan,and I love the results!!

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By the time I ate breakfast (about 9am), I had drank 1/2 a liter of water (I currently drink 2 liters/day).

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At 11, I had my snack. I chose 2 Nuts/Seeds, which for me was 30 grams of natural nut butter (I have peanut, almond, or a great marzipan with caramel).

I also drink sugarless coffee (sometimes with milk, sometimes black).

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For lunch (13:00), I chose the formula 4 starches (88grams noodles), 1 protein (100 grams -raw- chicken breast), and 1 Milk (28 grams cheese).

I made up noodles with little hamburger patties of ground chicken, spiced, with cheese. That’s a jar of homemade ketchup Vitaliy’s mom is supplying us with– I put it all over the noodles– it’s so yummy, and didn’t count it as calories. 20161014_133856 My snack (16:00) was again a spoon of two portions of nuts/seeds. This time I had 30 grams of almond butter with black coffee.

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I’m eating on the Phase 3 of the diet, the maintainance phase which is 2000-2500 calories. It helps the fat/muscle ratio to keep shifting (gaining muscle, losing fat) and the frequent eating keeps the metabolism working.

Dinner hasn’t happened yet, but … you get the idea ….

Dear You, please pray about supporting us!

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As I was praying about fundraising tonight, I had some insights I’d like to record and remember.

I was asking God: How is asking others and being dependent on others through fundraising being like Christ?

And God brought an interesting detail to my attention from my Bible reading: John 19:26-27

When Jesus saw His mother and the disciple He loved standing there, He said to His mother, “Woman, here is your son.” Then He said to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” And from that hour the disciple took her into his home.

Jesus “asked” John to take care of his mother in his place–He gave the physical care of his mom to another person. He depended on John.

I also noted this: Mark 14:33-34:

He took Peter, James, and John with him, and he became deeply troubled and distressed. He told them, “My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”

It’s encouraging to see places where Christ– though he was fully complete and sufficient in all things in God the Father– displayed humanity moments of asking others to support Him, even emotionally.

Luke 8 says:

After this, Jesus traveled from one city and village to another. He spread the Good News about God’s kingdom. The twelve apostles were with him.Also, some women were with him. They had been cured from evil spirits and various illnesses. These women were Mary, also called Magdalene, from whom seven demons had gone out; Joanna, whose husband Chusa was Herod’s administrator; Susanna; and many other women. They provided financial support for Jesus and his disciples.

So. I’m grateful for the example of Christ in this lifestyle of interdependence.

Would YOU pray about supporting us? It’s investing money into evangelizing and discipling amazing people on this side of the world. God is doing His powerful work in, through, and around us. Please pray about this. You can get to know us more by clicking below:


















baking and love

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So, tomorrow (today, as I’m writing this after midnight our time on Saturday) is Zhatva at church! It’s the annual harvest celebration. This year I decided to get even more emotionally involved, in a good way.

I’ve been praying for specific ways to show love to our church. Not that they need it— I need it. I need to love our church.

So, it came together right now in baking and cooking for Zhatva. I have so enjoyed this process of making all this stuff! It’s rainy, fall weather, I turn on Christmas music, get the kids playing with flour, and here we go!

I will admit that not everything has turned out. But a lot has! … I love cooking for holidays 🙂

So, here it is in photos:

Setting up Andre to make his own flour-water dough

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Here’s Una, saying hi to the world as she plays with her flour

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The messy table with a thousand projects going at once

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I made four chickens 🙂

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I made pumpkin bread from real pumkin puree– real pumpkins are everywhere right now, so here is some, after it’s been boiled (in chunks) dripping out the excess water in the cheese cloth (like we do with tvorog).

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Wow, these kids are cute!
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Some pumpkin bread

20161008_140152All around, an awesome day!