Archive of ‘Uncategorized’ category

shto ya ponyala ot (duhovnoy) ditsipline grudnovo vskarmlivaniya

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Моя квалификация, чтобы писать этот пост о грудном вскарливанием заключается в том, что я кормила и кормлю грудью уже больше двенадцать лет. Конечно, есть и другие мамы, у которых есть больше опыта по грудного вскармливания, поэтому они, вероятно, знают больше. Я также кормила грудью длительные периоды времени. Больше года, четыре года, больше три года, и теперь и три года с плюсом. (У нас четверо детей.)

В Ветхом Завете Бог часто показывал Себя через типы и символы. Для меня грудное вскармливание стало живым типом или символическим актом того, как Бог хочет, чтобы мы понимали Его и Его сердце к нам.

Чем дольше я живу, тем больше я вижу, как Бог общается с нами в повседневных вещах. Раньше я ожидала определенные, особые, редкие опыты с Богом (кроме того, что получала в чтении Библии или в молитве). Теперь я могу видеть, как Он открывает Себя нам в обычном и во всем, что вокруг нас.

Вот несколько способов, которыми я пришла, чтобы «увидеть» Бога в грудном вскармливании.

Подумайте о Божьем дизайне: Мама открывает руки, обнимает ребенке, открывает одно из ее самых закрытых, чувствительных мест, кладет младенца рядом с ее сердцем, удерживает его там и дает ему жизнь— физическое и эмоциональное питание.

Она дает и физическое и эмоциональное наполнение желудка и сердца этого ребенка.

Тепло излучает от нее. Удовлетворительные гормоны в ней, и в ее ребенке, течет внутри их в крови и в мозге.

Эта картинка Божего дизайна приносит слезы на глаза, понимая, как Бог духовно это все делает для нас. Он открывает руки, тянет нас к сердцу, согревает и дает нам жизнь от Самого Себя.

Я только что нарисовал потрясающую картину грудного вскармливания, чтобы обдумать. Но, честно говоря, грудное вскармливание показало мне свой эгоизм, и именно там он стал для меня духовной дисциплиной.

Бог питает нас великодушно. Щедро! Бесплатно. Он втягивает нас в Себя. Он отдаёт себя, свою любовь, заботу, время, внимание.

А я? Мне пришлось бороться и тренироваться, чтобы таким образом дать себя своим детям. Грудное вскармливание настолько личное, настолько “инвазивное”, настолько неудобное в определенных отношениях (позиции, время, которое требуется, отсутствие сна–когда мои дети становятся старше. Когда они моложе, я могу спать, пока они кормят грудью, но когда они старше ,я не могу.) …

Это дело так требовательно!

И не легче ли Богу? Он бесконечен. Он может обратить на меня внимание и в то же время «продолжать» со всей вселенной. Но для меня ГВ— это довольно эксклюзивная деятельность. (Хотя когда я думаю об этом, на самом деле я могу читать, пить, спать, иногда есть, быть на телефоне. НО ВСЕ РАВНО, может он просто “не удобно” потому, что я не хочу быть ограничано именно с этим делом.)

Вот я. Вот мое сердце.

Но вы знаете, Богу тоже не нужно уделять мне такое пристальное внимание. Ему не нужно было становиться неудобным, чтобы жить внутри меня своим Духом. Ему не надо было отдавать Себя до такого степеня, не так ли?

Но он это сделал, и он это делает до сих пор . Это его природа! Итак, могу ли я практиковать Его природу, пока она не станет моей природой? Могу ли я также выбрать, как выбрал Бог, держать своего ребенка рядом со мной и выдавать себя ему в личную степень?

…. Вот некоторые из тех вещей, над которыми я размышляла, так как более десяти лет занялась и подчинялась дисциплине грудного вскармливания. <3

my life as a garden, the next big step

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Things are happening in my heart that I need to analyze and record.

(Just pass over this if your not into introspection.)

There are moments of spiritual growth when God just brings together lots of influences to open certain things to me. And it usually starts after years of preparation– years of being bothered by certain things.

So I’ve been bothered the last few years by lack of satisfaction in home schooling, and bothered by my struggle to forgive certain people in our church, well, particularly one person.

Years go by, I live my days, things happen, good things, but still, these two things have, as a pattern, troubled me. And I pray about them, do what I can, as God shows me.

Like the unforgiveness: months back, God showed me to just stop the thoughts, just stop thinking so much about this person/situation and giving it so much “air time” in my brain. Just. Stop. That helped a lot to clear out my mind and be able to not be focused on negativity.

With home schooling, I have been reading, studying, understanding more and more. But I’m still not satisfied by it or enjoying it.

Years ago, I went through this Big Deal with learning about child discipline–the years of preparatory dissatisfaction, then all the influences coming together to bring it all together and teach me something very transformative. And God brought me to this place of joy, where there is a lot of healthy, emotional satisfaction and joy in my relationships with my kids now, as a pattern.

So now, in church relationships and home schooling, I feel like God has done the years of preparatory work, and now He’s going to move into the transformation phase, and I need to write about it. So I can figure things out better, and analyze and enjoy the process.

Phillip Keller, in his book A Gardener Looks at the Fruit of the Spirit,” starts out by talking about types of soil in our hearts. Not just for salvation, but as Christians, the soil of our hearts for bearing the fruit of the Spirit.

And I start to see parts of my heart in the “road” soil he describes, the soil that has been tramped, tramped, tramped down and will not bear.

For example, I started to envision my relationship with this person in my church, and you know, my critical thoughts just tramp, tramp, tramp down the “path” between us. It is impossible for joy to grow in this relationship. It’s impossible for kindness to grow in the path of this connection. It’s impossible for meekness, self-control, goodness, faithfulness, and peace to grow where my critical, suspicious thoughts are tramping, tramping, tramping down the soil.

He talks about our amitions as things that also tramp down the soil. And I’ve been analyzing for a long while now why I am home schooling.  I’m fairly sure it is the will of God for me to be doing this, though we are open to other options. But for these years, this year, right now, it’s pretty clear that home schooling my kids is God’s will for me.

But just doing His will doens’t mean I’m doing it for the right reason–or maybe I could say I could do His will but for wrong or selfish reasons. I have my own little ambitions about home schooling, it seems. Like I have this fuzzy ideal in my head about what our home school should be, and I think that this is my ambition, to achieve this … feeling, or ideal. Where I am the center.

So my ambition is tramping, tramping, and the section of my life’s garden is not bearing peace nor joy.

So that is where I am right now. There are other threads of influence in these realizations:

Love is a major theme because of 1 Corinthains. 13– I spoke about this at a baby shower and from Keller’s book we’re going through how the qualities of Love in 1 Cor 13 match with the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5. And how Love is the life of God, and the fruit of the Spirit come only as the actual presence of God (not like in a package separate from God).

Blessed

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I’m blessed

These last months and years, I am feeling that I’m blessed. I don’t just logically accept that it must be true– my emotions have united to the truth, and I FEEL that this is true. (Meaning, I don’t just accept it by faith, even though I feel the opposite.)

These last few days, I ‘ve been thinking about how wonderful it is to be led in the paths of righteousness with this man.
Yes, my cup overflows.

Our 13th anniversary

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The first half of the day was Vitaliy getting our van towed to a repair station and me going to the dentist. But a church gal brought to the door a package of chocolates and a card from the church. They are so sweet that way ❤

 

After the dentist, the 2 kids and I went to a cafe, and we ended up buying new mugs–several of ours had been broken so we’re getting low.

At home again, the kids sang us Happy Anniversary to the tune of Happy Birthday.

And the gave us chocolates and some little cross stitch things–the girls are into cross stitch right now.

And a card

In the evenig, we went on a walk together.

looking back at 2016

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I love looking back and looking forward. Can I just be anti-popular-slogan for a moment and say that living in the present feels like the pits sometimes, if I’m honest. Even though everyone says to live in the moment. I try to do that, but some moments are better as memories — ha ha.

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So I love looking back at what great things happened in 2016– not in chronological order!

  1. We finished 4th grade video school!
  2. Vitaliy took a trip to the taiga in Russia!
  3. I hosted two breastfeeding meetings for pregnant and breastfeeding gals.
  4. We had MomHeart group meetings (gals in our church)
  5. I studied and grew in my ability to express hospitality!
  6. I read through the Bible chronologically.
  7. I went through counseling about some unhealthy church past things that I couldn’t let go of. As a result, I confessed some sins, and I generally feel safer and happier in our church (I’m not the only one changing).
  8. I started baking a lot more for church things– I was asking God how to express love to our church more in a way that involves my emotions, and baking it is! I love group baking.
  9. Introvert Anne offered “intentional friendships” to moms in our church who want that relationship– we mostly do this by writing. A few personal meetings.
  10. We started 5th grade! I’m doing tons of reading aloud, which I’ve always imagined doing!
  11. I started working out at Curves 3 days/week.
  12. I lost the remainder of the weight I want to lose, and I’m maintaining.
  13. I moved forward in our fundraising (more to come in 2017 goals)
  14. I made a lot of videos for moms in our church, sharing some things God’s taught me, encouraging them to love their children and look to God for love and wisdom.
  15. Vitaliy and I wend skiing together and had a great time (I did something he loves 🙂 )
  16. One of my goals was to support Vitaliy in all the ministry he’s doing, and I think I did a great job of that overall.
  17. We as church moms starting fasting and praying for our children once a month.
  18. I semi-discipled a girl through a Bible study book for kids.

So, thouse are some things I remember about 2016. It was a good year 🙂 Looking back, I would chose the work “self-discipline” for that year. After years of prayer, God seems to be bringing fruit in that quality of life in the Spirit. I’m looking forward to developing even more in that.

on the other side of struggling with the value of my life

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One thing I recently realized is that, with my focus on what life dreams I’m not fulfilling, I’m missing the wonder of the life dreams that are fulfilled, and that are being fulfilled.

Really, it’s quite amazing. I’m a missionary in Ukraine.

This was a huge, life-guiding dream.

And it’s now my real life.

And I love it.

It’s actually a dream come true in ways I could never have even imagined. I never dreamed I’d marry a Ukrainian–that was just out of my comort zone. But the fact that I have has extremely altered my experience as a missionary in Ukraine.

I had a dream to have 12 children…… Um, wow. Why am I not upset that this one hasn’t come true?

*Big grin.*

Maybe four is my twelve? 4 = 12 … ???

Maybe we’re NOT DONE? 4 + ? = 12 … ???

I could go on about the things I love, and I do to myself–I’ll spare you– but anyway, I have an amazing life (by my own standards), and I love living it.

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follow-up test on myself

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I was writing in the spring about dealing with disappointment with my life.

Yesterday was an interesting test of how I’m dealing with that, and it’s going pretty good!

So yesterday, I was generally rather fatigued, Vitaliy was gone a few days (these are 2 big factors), and last night, this funk came on me again. …. My thoughts are like: Why can’t I do birth work? I hate homeschooling. Why is my life like this? Why am I making these choices?

Those are The Funk thoughts. It’s totally gone today, so you know, it’s a momentary thing. But it’s important.

So, how did I go through it?

First, I went for a walk. And I thought. I thought several good things.

I made a choice to be home with my children, and that choice is valuable to me. It’s important to me to do this. Making that choice means saying no to other choices.

If I were working in birth (or whatever), I would also have parts of it that I hate (like I sometimes hate homeschooling). I’m just choosing between what I want to struggle with disliking.

If I were doing birth stuff, I would also have moments when it feels empty and like it’s robbing me of other, more fulfilling things. The grass is greener thing would still happen, no matter what I would be doing. Especially when I’m tired and a bit emotionally empty.

I went to do some grocery shopping. I’m on a diet right now, but as I was walking through the store, I realized that normally, this is a time when I would comfort myself by eating– bread, chocolate, whatever.

So I asked myself, how can I go through this funk in a different way? My stomach is not hungry, but my emotions are hungry. Food won’t fill them up.

It’s a form of grieving for a life I won’t have, and that’s OK, to grieve a little bit for those dreams, but I don’t have to wallow in it and wreck my health and other goals during that grief.

So I was feeling pretty good by now, that I was going through and coming out of this funk in a pretty good way– able to value the life I have and not eat to comfort myself like I usually do.

I ended up buying some clothes on sale, too 🙂 I needed a new fall jacket, and the one I liked was on sale! $24 instead of over $40!

Cool. Progress!

I felt like my dad, buying on sale, and I felt like my mom, buying clothes …

Andre, loves his little MEP math stuff 🙂

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MEP math and my sweetie boy

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I’m going to mention MEP math here for a moment because they are worth mentioning!

The Centre for Innovation in Mathematics Teaching is located in England. They developed a free, online, high-quality math program. I started it years ago with Skyla and Vika. Then I moved to textbooks when it was too hard for me to be so involved (read, more babies and toddlers), and this year, I’m going back to it.

I’m really impressed with the program.The lessons are brief, scripted even, and have great visuals and manipulatives for kids. It also just intrigues me how they introduce and teach concepts!

Upfront, it’s a lot of printing, and I’m doing a lot of my own printing this year for our schooling (using Ambleside Online). While I was printing out the first lesson batch for the girls I though, hey, let me print out a few lessons to do with Andre (he’s 4yo).

We’ve done 2 days so far, and he’s enjoying it. We’re BOTH enjoying it, and that is important.

On this page, meeting the family, asking questions like How many children?” Who is beside the dog? Who is youngest? … Then counting to 5 on fingers and drawing sticks.

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Here, I love this picture. He drew our family. I’m the one with the big head. I like to think,  because I am the largest “presence” in his life 🙂

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Here we counted boats, cars, houses. We colored a certain number of them

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Here he is working on the bed this morning. Things I’ve learned from this: He is fairly exact– must color in the entire space in the object. He picks up ideas fairly quickly. He has pretty good finger control for his age, too.

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a dull post about war tactics

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I’m not writing this to argue with anyone. I’m just sifting through my own thoughts on this, analyzing changes and adjusting to cultural changes. If you have more information or calm analysis, perhaps not opinion (esp. flaming), I would like to add it to the pot.

Because in America we don’t see soldiers in camouflage, pass tanks on the roads, hear war planes buzzing overhead or the staccato of gunfire …. we forget that America is at war. America is in a war. In the Middle East.  And though the average citizen rarely thinks about this, it actually is something we need to think through collectively. Because the tactics of war have changed in ways that now involve every-day citizens.

Throughout the ages, war tactics change and adapt. In the Bible times, it’s recorded that there was chariot warfare; that they slashed open pregnant women, tore down walls around entire cities, forced famines and droughts by besieging cities, cut off big toes and thumbs, took slaves, etc.

Closer to our time, war was with armies lined up on fields facing each other. (These days, that seems crazy.) Horses, swords, guns, cannons. Then guerrilla warfare involved small bands making attacks on the outskirts of the larger foe. And airplanes, bombs.It goes on and on.

Inventions change war tactics. Technology changes war tactics. War involves a lot of Public Relations, too, if you think of it, and the methods of PR change. (We were just looking at old Soviet PR posters, for example). The overall sensibilities of a culture influence war tactics, too.

So, we’re constantly changing when it comes to war.

In some ways, terror has always been a war tactic. Just the horrific sight of the enormous armies, their equipment, costumes, etc., is designed to make people afraid and capitulate to the demands of the enemy.

The reason I’m saying all this: America and especially France (and Britain? and others?) are in war. We are at war. (I don’t live in the States, so I don’t feel it in the same way, but in some ways, living closer to the warring borders, I become more aware of it.)

So, the general style of tactics used today by certain armies have been labeled “terror” by the western world. It’s interesting to stop and think about that word: Terror. Acts of war committed to incite intense fear in order to achieve the desires of the enemy.

Here are current war tactics we need to consider:

There’s more, I’m sure.

But my goal here.

My goal here is just to put the pieces together. So we can be more able to have conversations that unite, rather than that divide and anger. Or just not confuse war with irrelevant questions. Or let the news media lead us by the nose into whatever they want to be the hot political buzz of the day. Division is also a war tactic. And we need to be wise. None of us has all the information. Few of us are actually in a place to make and implement changes of which we so certainly speak. Power changes perspective. And humbleness is a powerful perspective.

It’s messy. There is no one right answer on how to deal with these new war tactics. It’s very messy. But it calls for a lot of working together and looking for both justice and mercy (in the immigration question, for example, which is also a long-time war tactic. How to balance safety of many with helping others? An eternal question.). It calls for clearing our minds and focusing on living out the love of God to the fullest extent we know how. It calls for the rising up of great men and women who can create and implement creative, compassionate answers for individuals and for large groups.

May God help us.

P.S. One idea I had as I thought about this: Maybe we should form prayer groups to pray for vulnerable men and women, that they not be recruited into the ranks of the army that wants to see them die a “hero’s” death. Pray for those vulnerable souls, that God would redirect them ….

some soldiers checking out at the grocery, as I write this post....

some soldiers checking out at the grocery, as I write this post….

Как организовать свою молитвенную жизнь!

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Последние дни, Бог учит меня из этого стиха: “Помышления прилежного стремятся к изобилию”. На англиском, написано: “Планы прилежного стремятся к изобилию”.

Помышления, планы … Я понимаю, на столько Бог хочет, чтобы я планировала, чтобы я думала на перед…. Поездка, покупка, школа, одежда, еда, домохозяйство … Если я думаю на перед, планирую, как правило, дела идут более гладко. (И если что-то спонтанно или неожиданно, то легче переносить это тоже, потому что все вокруг более-менее хорошо продуманно.)

Насколько же это важно также и с нашими молитвами!

Помышления и планы прилежного о молитве  стремятся к изобилию! 

Около 5-6 лет назад, Бог начал меня побуждать к молитве, и до с тих пор, Он показывает мне, что то что будет в моей жизни, и в жизни моей семьи, моего мужа, моих детей, и в жизни нашей церкви … это будет в резултате молитвы. И Он желает, чтоб я была тот человек который молился за исполнение Его воли.

Он хочет это для каждего из нас! чтобы мы все участвовали в совершенстве Его воли тут на земле.

Я начала использовать “Как организовать свою молитвенную жизнь” (можно скачать) около 4 года назад. За все это время, у меня была уже 3-4 дневника– жизнь меняется, и нужды и сферы меняются также. Вот они:

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Со временим, мой дневник стал более гибким. Я пишу молитвы, собираю цитаты, пишу планы и мечты.

Я собирала идеи от разных старших женщин, и я хочу вам показать тоже, чтобы вдохновить вас в молитве, и чтобы мы все стали более привязанными к молитве и к водительсву Духа Святого. Этот дневник для меня хороший инструмент, помогает мне принести много плодов и хороших изминений. И если вы делаете свой молитвенный дневник, он тоже будет уникальным!

Вот, несколько мест из моего молитвенного дневника….

Стихи для заучивания в 2016-м:

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На лево, короткий список людей и служений и т.д., для быстрой молитвы. Если в этот день, у меня нет времени глубже молиться, я хочу молиться хотя бы за самое главное. (На право, еженеделный список.)

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Файл “Как организовать свою молитвенную жизнь” начинается с:

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Потом для себя:

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Для мужа, для детей, родителей, и т.д.

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Потом, еженеделные молитвы для разных вещей, члены церкви, мамы с детьми … :

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Служение “Гармония”

Служение "МаминоСердще"

Служение “МаминоСердще”

Церковний лагерь, 2015-ом

Церковний лагерь, 2015-ом

Мои идеалы и как больше по ними жить…

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Цитаты:

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Я с радостью печатала бы этот файл для вас! Время бежит, и нам нужно помышлать и планировать, как мы будем молиться!

 

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