God is bringing to a close my midlife “crisis.” (I just turned 44, by the way, so, great timing!) I would describe this experience as: Parting with all the possible lives I could have lived, and discovering in a new way the joy and greatness of the life God has planned for me.

Early in 2019, I wrote this commitment/prayer in my prayer notebook:

This year, I want to receive from God joy and contentment . I will refuse to entertain “what if,” “could have,” “might have.”. . . I will live with thoughts of thankfulness for each aspect of my life and God’s leading, will, and blessing.

There were days and days I would repeat this prayer and commitment.

And then, I stopped even noticing it. I started enjoying my life in a new way, a way free from comparisons of what my life could have been.

And now I look back at it, and it is an answered prayer. A lived commitment.

And I need to move on into living this life with even greater acceptance and openness to what actually He IS DOING in this life He’s made me for.