I’m in these weird days of my life, the in-between days, or something like that. Where I don’t have a lot of energy or emotional need to do much outside of my family, yet at the same time, I see my kids growing up and I have more extra spaces in my life.

Times where I’m not sure I’m done with being pregnant, breastfeeding, and sweet little babies. But then the gaping needs of the world also cry out to my ears, and I wonder how to serve them, too.

Little Una and I making blini while the “big” kids are out for their first bike ride of the summer:

And now I’m 40,and I wonder if my life is enough … mostly to satisfy myself that I’ve done and am doing God’s will on earth. It’s a positive question. And it implies willingness to change.

And I think about my mom and how she’s had such an amazing life, really, and can I have that, too?

Getting air in the tires for the first summer ride–he’s one happy boy!

And.

And …

And I’m glad I’ve come to a point in my life when I can just wait with these questions, not rush around searching for something to fill me up. I can just ask God these questions and have an open heart.

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters.

He restores my soul.

He leads me in righteous paths, for his name’s sake.

Yea, though I pass through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me. Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil.

My cup overflows.

Surely

Surely

Goodness and mercy have followed me

all the days of my life,

And I will dwell in the house of the Lord, forever.