During our premarital counseling, we filled out a questionnaire. One question was something like this: “How do you view life?”
And for the answer, we had to choose A. Suffering B. An adventure C. (I don’t remember)
So, of course, Anne the American chose B, an adventure, and Vitaliy the Ukrainian chose A, suffering.
Our lovely counsellor (whose DIL happened to be Latvian, I think) didn’t hesitate and said something like, “This is a very cultural question!” And we dropped it.
Funnily, after living 13 years in Ukraine, I would probably also choose suffering, though maybe part of that is just growing up and experiencing/observing harder life experiences generally, not just the Culture of Injustice that exists in Ukraine.
ANYWAY. The point of all that is to say: Vitaliy was denied a visa to the U.S.! Twice. We were both shocked for a while, but the lady said that he should probably try applying for a Green Card.
So! suffering or adventure–a bit of of both or neither?!–it’s what we’re doing! Sticking this into the “what I never imagined doing in my life” file.
After sending off the first part, he took me out for coffee, and we had a helpful talk about my life which I will probably not blog about until I get further along in my internal processing.